


Orbit To You

by OurLadyGrem



Series: Banana Fish ✧ Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Planetarium, Ash Is Mostly Pining, Ash's POV, Astronomy, Boys In Love, Disaster Gays, Domestic Fluff, Eiji Is Too Cute, Falling In Love, Fluff, Flustered, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining, Pining Ash Lynx, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Short & Sweet, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 11:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OurLadyGrem/pseuds/OurLadyGrem
Summary: Ash is an ordinary salaryman. He moved over to Japan to live a peaceful life away from New York... but is it too peaceful? Life is lonely for a foreign homosexual in a country where being out isn't that easy. He struggles to survive a slew of constant let-downs, and copes with rejection by adapting a cynical worldview... because how can he get hurt if he never gets his hopes up in the first place?In a classic meet-cute scenario, Ash accidentally comes across Eiji - a friendly employee at a nearby planetarium. He's the cute nerd next-door who's obsessed with astronomy. All the while Ash comes to obsess over him.This is 100% fluff content and a 12-page one-shot. Come for the short read, stay for the feels.





	Orbit To You

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any of my British-isms that may pop up in the work. I hope since this is set in Japan the linguistics won't matter too much, haha!
> 
> Thanks for giving this a read! If you like it, please leave a kudos and a comment! I love to read them all!

Ash Lynx sits across the table from his co-workers, beer in hand, as he necks another glass. Office tie pulled out around his neck, shirt unbuttoned at the top, and hair more dishevelled than acceptable. He appears relaxed, only chiming in to surrounding conversations that might include him, but his mind is not nearly as present.

He always feels a little outside of the general crowd, seeing as he moved to Japan to become part of this company’s branch a little over five years ago. His appearance always seems to draw someone’s attention, but at the same time, makes him stand out to the point where he can’t quite fit in. In this traditional Japanese restaurant, sitting bow-legged across a palette of extraordinarily delicious Japanese food, watching the men he works with get close and personal with the girls… it only draws more attention to himself that he is a foreign gay man in amongst a group of native heterosexuals.

His eyes watch the guy he’s directly opposite with. After having watched him for a few weeks with a bit of interest in him, the guy flirts so openly with the pretty girl by his side as they happily exchange numbers.

‘Well, I expected this anyway. Not like I had my hopes up or anything.’

Ash concludes this. Then he places his empty glass down, and gets up to his feet to bow to the rest of the team.

“I’m heading off, everyone. See you Monday.”

He wraps his jacket over his arm, straightens his tie and waves goodbye. Leaving the restaurant with his head slightly lower.

Ash is, ironically enough, close to the Shinjuku where all the gay districts are. And he has visited them once or twice before, when the long nights lost in translation got really lonely. But nothing ever came from it. Ash learnt it just isn’t his thing. Bars and dance clubs never interested him. Instead, right after parting ways from drinks with workmates, Ash heads towards a store selling DVDs for a late night viewing session. He approaches a spinning rack just outside the doors, and on the top rack, Ash spies a movie he’s been wanting to see for a while finally released on to disc. The movie is something gang-related, with yakuza plot-lines and a subtle romance etched as a subplot. Ash figures he’ll pick it up to watch for tonight…

“Oh shit! I’ve been wanting to see this for so long!” A stranger quickly comes by, snatching the last box from the rack.

The stranger looks eager to hold the DVD in his hands, until he glances to his left and finally spies Ash glaring at him with the full force of a pissed-off leopard. The man squirms under his gaze - observing immediately the noticeable difference in height between them, and the apparent muscle mass - and backs down quickly. His face slowly pales.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t see you there! Were you a-after this?”

Ash sighs heavily. It isn’t because of the DVD that he’s particularly pissed off tonight. He knows in his rational mind that he’s just channelling his frustration on to this situation. So Ash relaxes his expression, looking from wound-up to simply uncaring, and lowers his shoulders to appear calmer. Then he shakes his head and declines the stranger.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get another one.”

The man bows and he backs away. Then, quickly turns on his heels to sharply pace down the street and runs far away from Ash… with DVD in hand. Ash watches after the man, waiting until he completely disappears through the late night crowd of people before walking away from the store, hands buried in his pockets. Ash’s head lowers again as he thinks to himself,

‘Not like I’m that excited to watch it anyway. I’ll just watch it another time.’

Generally, Ash allows events to pass by him without really getting hung up on many things. Life in Japan is peaceful, and a lot less stressful than his old life back in New York. When work is all done, he either goes out for drinks or goes to a book or DVD store… just to find something to pass the time. It’s a dull routine, but not one that Ash really thinks over too much. It’s just somehow, on this particular night, he feels just that little bit solemn, and a little lonely…

He thinks about this all while his head is lowered to the ground, with his gaze idly glazed towards his feet. Until suddenly, he heads face-first into a signpost. He grunts on impact, pain ringing through the front of his lobe, and holds his head in his hands to let the wash of embarrassment pass over.

But then, as his dizzy eyes focus and he lifts his gaze, Ash reads the words on the sign.

“A planetarium…”

Nothing about this sign is particularly extravagant. It’s a general advertisement for anyone who’s interested in looking up at the stars and constellations. It’s different, but not something that people actively go to see together. But for Ash, it seems just that amount of difference in routine that might kick him out of his funk. It’s not like he’s particularly fond of stargazing, but it’s not something he’s ever been turned off from. He likes peaceful things. Anything that puts his despairing mind at ease. Somehow, looking up at the stars has that effect. At that moment, a visit inside the planetarium seems idyllic. And luckily, the next screening is due in five minutes.

‘This kind of thing might even be fun, once in a while…’

Ash picks himself up and heads to the ticket office just behind the sign. He leans on the ledge while pulling his wallet from his back pocket.

“Excuse me, one ticket for one adul--”

“Good evening, sir! One adult ticket, correct?”

Ash is greeted by the friendliest, and warmest smile he’d ever seen. Ash’s mouth hangs open just slightly as he suddenly can’t find the sound he needs for words. He’s instantly too stricken by this cute man at the door. The bushy, and seemingly fluffy, mess of raven-black hair frames the adorable shape of his face, only made brighter by the welcoming smile on his lips, that illuminates the shine in his eyes that appears to be smiling too. Everything, from the long and slender length of his neck, to the slight blush on his cheeks, even to the casual wear of his work uniform - with sleeves rolled up to his elbows - has to the highest point matched Ash’s usual type in men.

The name tag clipped to his shirt read; ‘Eiji Okumura’. Ash commits this to memory.

“Y-Yes. One ticket, please.” Ash eventually says.

Once paid for and safely inside, Ash casually lifts his fist to his mouth, and feels a heat rising over his skin. The corridor is fairly low-lit, so Ash hopes that Eiji hadn’t noticed. Even as he wanders inside, just before walking through the double doors leading to the main area, Ash glances back over his shoulder. The employee named Eiji is happily and busily tending to his small area within the ticket office with a parted smile, and a low-sounding hum falling from his attractive mouth. Then, when their eyes meet, Eiji cups a hand and shouts excitedly,

“The screening will start soon! You should hurry up inside!”

Ash grins, only half his mouth larger than the other, as his crooked smile ineffectively diminishes the heat of a blush flourishing over his face.

He thinks to himself amusedly, ‘This guy’s really into his job…’

Then, after Ash enters through the double doors, he takes a look around and slightly stumbles on his feet. It surprises him, but none of the seats are taken up. The whole place surrounding the telescope in the centre is completely empty. Ash feels a little awkward having to acknowledge this, and feels just as self-conscious as he steps towards the closest seat at the front, looking both ways to make sure if anyone’s there. But he definitely confirms it; there’s just him. Ash is completely alone.

“Is this place doing alright?” He wonders aloud, seating himself stiffly into his chair.

Then, the room’s lighting lowers to a darkness, and Ash immediately glances upwards as a flurry of gorgeous multicoloured lights twinkle above his head. It’s a wonderful view, Ash can’t deny that, as an array of purple, blue and pink hazes spin around the bulbs as to mimic the mist of stars all harmonizing together. Ash breathes, feeling that sense of calm that he initially aimed for in coming. Until the automated voiceover begins to interrupt his peace.

“The stars you are now gazing up towards… can form shapes we call ‘constellations’.”

Nostalgia brews through him as Ash whispers aloud, “This really takes me back… don’t think I’ve been to something like this since I was a kid…”

“The history of the constellations is long… starting from the oldest, this first one’s name is Hydra.” A jagged line appears prominently amongst the cloud of stars, like a bright white crack that split across the universe, “Hydra contains a star named Alphard. It appears in the southern sky in April. Though its shown to shine bright here, it has a tragic sounding nickname as ‘the solitary one’.”

Ash feels a slight stab in his chest from hearing that. He finds it bitterly ironic how he takes an interest in a star for a name he seems to feel he relates to. It’s just unfortunate, he finds, that it’s the one word he was hoping to avoid, especially on a night like tonight.

‘Alone… in a place like this, watching the stars…’

Ash bites his lips into a straight line. It forces him to look around without moving his head. Suddenly he’s self-aware of the chorus of empty chairs surrounding him in this place. He sighs, slowly overcome with a feeling of embarrassment and unpleasant isolation, as he blankly looks up at the blur of stars.

‘What am I even doing in here…’

“So… if you connect the part that’s lit up in red right now, you get what is called the ‘Spring Diamond’.” Eiji’s ambient voice suddenly called.

Ash looks to his side to find Eiji sat in the seat beside him, with his finger pointing up at the constellation. At first, it takes Ash a split second to acknowledge his presence there, before suddenly jumping in his seat with a silent gasp. He rattles the seats as he launches from leaning against the back seat.

Meanwhile, Eiji smiles a bit childishly, as he leans forward to playfully taunt, “Excuse me, did I scare you just now?”

Ash only stares at him to process the moment. He’s too much on his guard now, and unable to think of what to say after that. Then, as the moment stretches on, Eiji’s face is seen slowly breaking character as a rampant blush cascades completely over his face, and his smile cracks into a jagged line.

“Ah! Um… sorry!” Eiji immediately retreats, and even waves his hands in front of him in an absolute tragic fluster, “S-Sorry, no… I-I mean, um… I didn’t mean to approach you… i-in a certain way, like… you know, in… __that__ … way… um, I-I think.” He turns away then to lower his head, and fidgets with his fingers on his lap as he tries so hard to recover. “I just thought… I don’t know, I thought you might be a bit lonely… here by yourself. Um, I’m sorry.”

Ash stares at him then, completely wide-eyed. Then, he can’t help but smirk. Something about the way this guy has approached him seems… completely genuine. As if there’s a funny innocence in the way he speaks and carries himself. Ash can read it in his nervous disposition, and the overall cheerfulness of how he immediately comes across. All in all, Eiji just seems like a harmless guy. Even a little sweet. And he concludes that Eiji’s intentions are as such. So Ash grins, and his own expression softens. Though his initial reaction is think of Eiji as a bit of a weird guy, not for a single moment did Ash think this was bad at all. Instead, he finds it endearing. Incredibly so.

“Don’t worry. Please, continue as you’d like.” Ash assures him.

And immediately, Eiji’s eyes seem to sparkle as his smile lights up the whole of his face.

“Okay! W-Well, where do I start…”

That charming expression of his doesn’t slip an inch as Eiji goes into an entire lecture about the ever-changing constellations that light up in droves. He voices along with the automated machine, and adds notes whenever an interesting fact about them springs to mind. His excited chatter never loses that energy either, as his eyes scan rapidly over each of the diagrams with just as much passion as the last. The stars almost seem to reflect in the black puddles of his eyes, as if he captures each flash of a sparkle to swallow into his soul.

Ash simply lays back and lets out a breath, grinning as he becomes more interested in looking at Eiji and listening to him, than looking up at them.

* * *

 

The screening ends, and Eiji walks Ash out after his long and winded lecture has finally come to a resolute close. Eiji lingers at the exit as Ash turns over his shoulder.

“You know, that was actually quite interesting. You sound like you really know what you’re talking about. You kept me interested the whole way through... I didn’t even realise what the time was by the time the lights came back on.”

Eiji flushes as he scratches at the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed by the praise, “I’ve worked here for a long time now… and I’ve always been interested in astronomy. I’m sure I could talk for much longer than this, but then I’d really start to bore you.”

They laugh politely, but somewhat tenderly. Ash likes how shy he gets even after laughing. Then, Ash steps away to begin his journey home, “Well, I’d better--”

“Oh, wait!” Eiji calls after him, prompting Ash to look over one more time, “I… hope you come and visit again.”

Ash’s eyes widen. A movement in his chest begins to cultivate, like the soft murmur of a sound above water. But he only lifts his hand up to wave, and they part ways from there.

All the way home, Ash paces down the city streets with his head lifted high, and his bag idly hanging over his shoulder by the hook of his fingers. It isn’t until Ash gets to a couple blocks down that he realises there’s an apparent spring in his walk. He scratches his blonde hair, looking over himself in confusion, and wonders in slight embarrassment where this sudden bounce in his step has come from.

* * *

 

Over the weekend, Ash spends his time in his apartment with a box in his hands. When he was out shopping earlier, he walked past an old vintage shop that sold hand-me-down gadgets and all sorts of novelty apparatus. In the window, he spied a miniature star projector that was advertised at a cheap price. Ash felt drawn to buying it immediately. And soon after, came home to sit on the floor beside his bed with the box in hand.

“Am I being an idiot right now?” Ash says to himself with a hopeless sigh, awkwardly picking at the lid as he hesitantly begins opening the box, “What am I really doing with this? Am I just playing myself?”

He scoops out the device and holds it in his palms for a quick inspection. It looks fairly standard from the outside; just a black plastic ball with LED lights buried in the centre. It isn’t until he accidentally finds the switch on the side and turns the bulb on that the sudden projection of beautiful neon lights spread across his ceiling. Immediately, Ash stares up in wonder at the gorgeous view of it all, laid bare across his once dull apartment walls.

And in the back of his mind, Ash can see the image of Eiji as he smiles his adorable smile… the way his thick hair appears too fluffy to tame, and the warmth in his eyes radiating a friendliness that reflects the goodness of his heart… repeating the same words he left Ash with:

‘I hope you come and visit again!’

Ash stares up at the ceiling. Thinking that would be lovely…

* * *

 

Later that night, Ash rounds the same signpost that he had crashed into, and spies Eiji on the outside of the planetarium, with his hands seemingly smoothing out a poster on the front of the building. Ash wastes no time in calling out to him.

“Eiji!”

He turns around, and their eyes meet. Ash has a gift bag in hand, and lifts it up by the thin straps. A soft smile pulls at his mouth, appearing so obviously happy to see Eiji once again. Ash can feel it in the narrowness of his eyes, matching up with the grin that appears so effortlessly as Eiji is caught in his sight. And he’s suddenly grateful that he could meet up with Eiji again out of his work shirt and tie. Instead of that black jacket from before, this time is a casual button-up shirt with a dark top beneath, with the top of the hem just peeking beneath his collar. How strange, Ash feels, to discover the need to look his best in front of him...

“Oh, hey!” Eiji calls back, just as happily, and casually rips the poster from the building walls to scrunch it into a ball in his hands, “Hey, I’m so glad you came!”

“Uh, yeah.” Ash says still with a smile, pretending to overlook how unsubtle Eiji appeared to be discarding the poster. Instead, he passes over the bag, “Here. This is to thank you for last time.”

“That’s so kind! Thank you!” Eiji carefully takes it with two hands and peers inside, before beaming excitedly, “I really love sweets! Thanks! This really made my day!”

Ash stays silent, but smiles all the same as he’s glad to have returned the favour… and also, internally feels the thrill of pleasing him in small ways like this. It’s a complicated feeling, though overwhelmingly pleasant.

“If you have time, would you like to watch another show? You’re just in time for the premier of a new screening starting today!”

“Sure, why not? Sounds good to me.”

Ash agrees, knowing he can’t turn the guy down. But as they enter the same large room, the same old emptiness greets them. Ash looks over each unoccupied seat with somewhat of an awkward smile. He tries his best not to appear rude over the matter, but can’t help but ask Eiji while he’s setting up the light switches from the back.

“Hey Eiji, is this place doing okay?”

Eiji laughs, though somewhat a little bashfully, “We do get a few school groups occasionally.”

“Still, that’s not very often, is it?”

Eiji remains silent. His loyal smile is ever-present, but no words fall from his lips.

Ash doesn’t quite notice as he starts up again, “Oh, by the way…”

“Yes?”

“Would you mind teaching me again? Somehow I find myself following along easier to your explanations than the actual projector.”

Eiji looks more than flattered then, as the familiar sparkle in his dark eyes shimmers in the anticipation. “Sure! I’d love to!”

As they sit in the exact same seats they had occupied last time, Eiji turns to Ash with the same amount of enthusiasm that he seemingly picked up from before. Strangely making himself look like he could’ve easily carried on his lecture for hours longer, like he said he could.

“Today’s screening is all about galaxies. What springs to your mind when you think of galaxies?”

Ash pauses, feeling a fair bit flustered by the sudden bout of energy he’s hit with, and stammers to come up with an off-hand answer, “Uh… I guess, I think of…”

“You’re probably mostly familiar with the milky way galaxy, right?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“If you look at it from Earth, you’re actually looking at it side-on so it looks like a river but it’s actually a large spiral and to think that even the sun is just one tiny part of it…” Eiji’s speech from there suddenly goes at a pace and a pitch that Ash can’t possibly match up to. He’s quickly bombarded with a mass of information that, although he can understand from the eloquence of his explanations, Ash never has a moment to process one single thing. Eventually Eiji’s face moves closer to his as the longest sentence in history finally comes to a stop, “…and along with Vega and Altair, isn’t it all fascinating?”

Ash only stares at him, still smiling just as politely as he did before Eiji began. He leant back as Eiji had leant close, and it takes only a few moments of obvious silence to realise exactly how much of Eiji’s voice had filled the air seconds ago.

“S-Sorry… I get carried away like that sometimes…” Eiji says, shrinking back to his chair.

“I don’t mind. You look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Ash sheds his polite tone, and softens his voice as he observes aloud, “You really like astronomy, huh?”

“I do. I mean… that’s just part of the reason.” Eiji begins, then gazes to the ground as he fidgets with his fingers, visibly growing crimson in the face, “It’s also because… um, I actually find you really easy to talk to… or, maybe I guess… I just like talking to you. That’d be… another reason.”

Ash stares at him then. Really stares at him. Even as the lights begin to dimmer and Eiji’s flustering demeanour stiffens from the excitement of what is to come, Ash looks at him, and thinks about how beautiful this man truly is. Ash doesn’t even once look up at the artificial stars above him. The only thing in his line of sight is Eiji. The words coming from his mouth shape to make sounds but they only come out as muffled noises in Ash’s ears. His eyes glaze over. Becoming truly enraptured by the man by his side. Finding so much goodness and beauty in his skin, his laugh, his smile, the surface of his soul.

More than anything, Ash wants to know him - drawn in completely by an infatuation for the heart on his sleeve. It’s said that the first stab of love is like the gradual descent of a sunset; there’s a blaze of colour… warm oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples… all of them which can be found in the mirror of Eiji’s deep eyes… eyes Ash would like to sink into, and kiss the petals of his soul.

Ash believes that anyone from the outside looking in would see how obvious the scene is set. With the calming ambiance accompanied by the soft music… with a sky full of fantastical swarming stars… it’s the perfect mood to be alone, and to be with someone you care about. In this scene, Ash can envision it in his mind. To follow the mood in motion, he’d have to give in to that overwhelming urge to touch him. The signs are all there to just lean forward, and press his lips to his…

But Ash remains silent, blankly coming to his senses. He doubles forward on his chair to bury his face in his hands, forcing himself to face reality.

‘I’m getting ahead of myself… it’s impossible. Didn’t he say that he didn’t approach me in __that__  way? It’s impossible…’

Yet Ash glances to his side again, looking over at Eiji quietly with his face leaning in his palm. It seems like the mood is getting far too much, as it nearly becomes Hell to just sit there and not reach out to him… whether verbally, metaphorically, or…

Ash braves his hand out, and gently touches over Eiji’s fingers that are splayed over his arm rest, softly grazing a few tips over his knuckles to reach over the rest…

“Aaah!” Eiji shouts, completely startled. Eiji jumps back as well, retreating in an instant.

“Ah, uh… sorry!” Ash apologises, returning his hands to his lap as if he’d been scolded.

“N… no, please… I’m sorry I shouted!”

They avert their eyes from each other then, completely flustered and hot with embarrassment. The tension is incredible, though layered with a slight awkwardness, it’s mostly heated with something a little deeper which couldn’t be defined. It’s undecipherable.

“Umm… where was I going with this? Uh, oh, yes… that’s right, the o-orbits…”

Eiji quickly picks himself back up and carries on with his talk. But Ash takes this opportunity to once again look over to him, and notice how deeply red his face is completely washed over. Though he tries his best to keep his composure steady, he raises a hand to his mouth and almost tries to catch himself from tripping over his words.

Ash is taken aback. He’d only tried to hold his hand, and Eiji can’t seem to keep himself together. Ash doubles over to cover his face in one hand while Eiji won’t notice, because Ash can’t hold himself together either, just from the sight of him alone.

‘God, he’s so cute. I think I’ve got it bad for him.’

Ash wonders then for the rest of the night… when had he ever fallen so hard for someone as quickly as this? And if he has any explanation for falling in love as easily as this, he acquaints it to seeing so much of the beauty that came from his character; all the perfect and imperfect parts of him. And Ash knows about himself that he’s a lonely soul, possibly one of the loneliest souls at the end of the day, but if it means that he could give over his love to someone as flawed and as flawless as Eiji, Ash let these feelings make room in his heart… and settled for a while.

* * *

 

Ever since then, Ash visits Eiji at the planetarium a number of times. One day, he walked around a book store he frequents and found an astronomy book in plain sight on the shelves. Later in the week, he gets around to buying it, having it gift-wrapped, and heads over to Eiji’s work to hand it over to him. As he knocks on the window of the ticket office, Eiji turns around to answer it and finds Ash’s soft smile staring back at him… holding up the fist he knocked with as though he’d been frozen, and getting lost in the sight of Eiji separated behind the glass. Eiji always responds with the widest and most welcoming smile. Ash notices then that little by little, he’s changed from the moment he met him.

It’s definitely noticeable while Ash works his desk job. While sitting at his cubicle, his co-worker calls out to him with a clipboard of sheets that need signing.

“Excuse me Ash, could you look these over for me please? Sorry for interrupting you if you’re busy.”

“That’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Ash replies with the most award-winning smile and gentle approach as he carefully takes the clipboard from their hands.

Several of his co-workers pass confused glances at each other as they have to confirm they aren’t just seeing things. Usually, what they expect from Ash is a half-assed acknowledgement because of an air of detachment that he generally carries, making him nearly impossible to approach. In this instance, his co-workers could venture to say that he looked quite charming just now.

Meanwhile, Ash pays them absolutely no mind. Though he realises himself that he’s definitely changed. He’s smiling a lot more than he used to. He’s able to get along with others from a softer viewpoint, something that he’s recently developed. And Ash knows deep in his heart that he accounts this influence all to Eiji. With the committed image of his smile so often in his mind, Ash thinks about him fondly,

‘Eiji’s so sweet, and so gentle… he likes sweets, and when it comes to the stars, he becomes so entranced.’

Ash figures out that Eiji must be a romantic type. He recalls one of their talks at the planetarium, and something that Eiji said had stuck with him for a while after that:

“Stars are really strange things, aren’t they? I mean, in reality they’re just balls of gas and dust… but what I like about them is that, when someone discovers them, then, by simply connecting them into a shape… they become something new, with a name and a meaning attached.”

Ash thinks about this as he sacrifices his sleep for thoughts of him. With the projector on and the stars blazing brilliantly above his pillow, Ash wonders about the wording Eiji used in that phrase.

‘Just like a star, I discovered him. And ever since then, my everyday life has definitely changed. So what if… I connected with him? Would some new meaning be created for us then?’ He thinks it over for a moment, before he quickly tosses his body to the side as a flushing heat takes over his face. ‘No, no… when I meant ‘connect’, I don’t mean anything rude!’ Ash gathers his composure again after the initial thoughts come back to finish his sentiment. ‘I mean… things are going so well between us. So, what if I do something like… telling him I love him… what would he say...?’

He thinks and thinks about this dilemma, until sleep claims him. For dreams of Eiji.

* * *

 

Suddenly, without any word of warning, Ash is stopped by a large sign plastered over the entrance of the planetarium. Not the one he first bumped into, but a new sign to say that the building has officially been declared as closed down.

Ash reads the letters over and over again until he finally processes it all in his mind. He blinks haphazardly, unsure whether or not this is real or a hoax. But why wouldn't it be real? He steps back away from it, nearly stumbling on his feet. Until he hears the flutter of paper just a little inside the entranceway. As Ash peeks around the corner to peer inside, he notices Eiji slowly pasting more of the same poster on the walls of the entrance. Eiji hears him step inside, and their eyes meet. But Eiji looks far too dejected to greet him like usual.

“Sorry for keeping quiet about this…” Eiji murmurs, looking a little ashamed as he smooths out the corners of the poster, “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew about it for certain. But it seems that we’ve been affected by recent budget cuts by the city. So we’ve had to lose our financial support.”

“I see. I’m really sorry you have to go through this, Eiji. I know how much this place means to you.” He tells him empathetically, and asks out of concern, “What’re you going to do now? Will you be okay?”

“Well, I’ve accepted redundancy pay so I’ll have around three months worth of pay-checks to keep me afloat. But after this, I don’t really know. I’m not sure what kind of jobs I’ll be looking for, but I’ll make sure to find work somehow. I’ll be alright.”

Ash is speechless. It hurts him to feel powerless to help, but what can he do? Sometimes life throws curve-balls and you’re left dealing with circumstances out of your control. But more than anything, Ash wishes he could say anything more than an apology and well wishes.

Completely out of his depth, Ash averts his eyes as he pathetically says, “I guess this is it, then. Thank you for everything, Eiji.”

Ash turns to walk away, his head as lowered as it always used to be, and with his hands buried in his black jacket. Until he’s suddenly stopped as Eiji abruptly calls out,

“Ash! Uh…” His voice trails away then. There’s a look in his eyes and a tremble in his lips that seems like he's begging to say more, but Eiji retreats into himself as his gaze casts to the ground, and seemingly loses his nerve altogether, “No, nevermind. It’s just… I hope, well… it’d be nice if we could meet again someday.”

Ash accepts it as it is then. And, reluctantly, turns to part ways.

He walks down the streets of Tokyo as alone as he initially felt from before he stumbled into that planetarium. With the weight of knowing those nights he’d spend there with Eiji are at an end, his shoulders feel heavier and heavier with every step. Old habitual thoughts of his left behind half-assed ways come back in a storm of inner turmoil.

‘What the hell was I even thinking? ‘Things are going well between us’? So delusional.’ He thinks this all the way down the streets, dimly lit by the neon streetlights that litter the skyscrapers above him. ‘It’s so unlike me… to get as carried away as I did. I should’ve known it wasn’t going to happen. What the hell is wrong with me?’

Ash looks up to see any trace of a star in the vast darkness of the night sky, but not a sparkle is in sight as they’re sucked out of view by the light pollution caused by the city lights. By this image alone, he figures that it can’t be helped to feel the way he did about Eiji, when sitting alone together in a dream-like place that the planetarium space created, littered with beautiful stars and constellations that affectively influenced a mood he’d get swept along with. Ash figures it was bound to happen. It was his own fault for not knowing any better.

He walks into his apartment, thankfully not too far away, and thinks about the dangers of living in a dream. He reminds himself that he chose to ignore what Eiji said in the beginning; about how he didn’t approach him in __that__  way. Ash scolds himself to pay attention more, and not act alone on wishful thinking.

“I really am such an idiot. I even went as far as to buy this.” Ash says aloud to himself, picking up the star projector from his bedside. Then he looks at the astronomy books he’d bought for himself to read, and laments, “From the very start, it was a love that just wasn’t going to happen. It was just a normal customer-employee relationship after all. Nothing more.”

A deep and painful stab suddenly cuts at his stomach then. Though he tries to shake it off, the plummet of his heart in his chest makes him feel nauseous and dizzy. Unstable emotions run through him, and Ash doesn’t know how to handle them. Immediately, he throws himself to the bed, and scolds himself again.

“When that place closes, the relationship is over… so get over it… why can’t you get over it already?”

Suddenly, the star projector rolls from his hands as he lands to the bed, and the switch on its side is pressed on to the ground. Immediately, the room is lit up with a sudden burst of light that causes Eiji to flinch.

“Augh… that scared me.”

He stares up at the lights then, and a whole new feeling is attached to how he looks at them now compared to how he used to look at them. And he thinks of Eiji. Then those words that stuck to him like remnants of a precious memory roll back to him like a film reel.

“Stars are really strange things… when someone discovers them, then, by simply connecting them into a shape… they become something new, with a name and a meaning attached.”

Ash really feels like he discovered Eiji…

…or maybe, he just felt like he discovered Eiji. When actually…

“I thought you might be a bit lonely…” The echo of Eiji’s voice calls.

In reality… as Ash looks back… it seems as though he was the one that was discovered. As Eiji was technically the first to approach him.

And the way Eiji had phrased it all from the beginning…

“I didn’t mean to approach you in… __that__ … way… I think.”

‘I think!’

Suddenly, a realisation flips everything upside down. Ash is shaken from the possibilities running through his head. But the only thing he feels is right at that moment… is to bolt back out of his apartment doors… and run back to him.

* * *

 

Back at the planetarium, Eiji locks up the entrance doors with a chain that wraps around the handles to secure it shut. It seems like the final touches before Eiji’s final shift ends there…

But he’s left with no time to grieve as Ash’s voice is abruptly heard from the distance.

“Eiji! Wait there! Please!” Ash calls him with a sense of urgency that freezes Eiji in place. He straightens up from the entrance doors and paces to the middle of the street to meet with him, before Ash suddenly grabs at his wrist and pulls him along to the hidden alleyway just beside the building.

“A-Ash? What’s going on?”

He doesn’t answer until he’s sure that they’re completely alone. In the darkness of the alley, covered by the height of the planetarium and the skyscrapers that surround the street, Ash gently pushes Eiji up against the brick wall with his hands held around Eiji’s wrists. Unwilling to let go just yet.

Because in the midst of his realisation, Ash learnt to create that ‘name and new meaning’ with Eiji that he longed for, he’d need to act first. He needs to make that ‘connection’, and let his feelings be known, otherwise how else would they ever have a chance at being together?

Also, he hopes… that Eiji’s phrasing when they first met, was just a poorly disguised cover up to hide the fact that Eiji was actually hitting on him. At least, that’s what Ash hopes.

His face is completely drenched in crimson, and he gathers every bit of bravery inside him, despite a tremble in his grip. Then stammers,

“I… I’m going to kiss you now! If you don’t like it… please, push me away!”

Eiji is stunned. With his eyes as wide as they could go, and his head flushing from chin to hairline, Eiji hangs his mouth open to shape any kind of words at all.

But he doesn’t say a thing. Instead, his eyes sparkle again. Those beautiful dark eyes that Ash would often get lost in, watching the stars he so loved get swallowed one by one. And now, it isn’t the stars that’d been captured in them. It’s Ash. Staring back at himself. They come together then. Ash’s hands placing against the wall. Eiji’s hands holding on to his shoulders. And they kiss so softly and so slowly that the stars could’ve fallen all around them and they’d have barely even cared.

* * *

 

Ash invites Eiji to his apartment after that. He feels nervous at first, but he loves how enthusiastic Eiji is and the respectful way he emerges into the place without prying too much.

“Sorry it’s a bit of a mess...”

“It’s really not! Please, relax. I’m just happy you invited me over tonight.”

Ash feels the flip of his stomach reminding him that he irrevocably loves this man. That friendly smile he has, now knowing it’s reserved only for him, stops Ash’s heart in its tracks before restarting itself again. It’ll take some time to get used to this overwhelming feeling, now knowing the full force of what love can deliver… it’s always a fatal blow every time Ash finds something even remotely adorable about Eiji. Even now, as he perches on the sofa on the far end of the room, Ash finds the subtle way Eiji pulls at his sleeve is a small giveaway sign that shows that Eiji is just as nervous. Ash busies himself with making coffee to hold himself back from pulling him into his arms.

“Oh! What’s this…?” Eiji asks.

By the time Ash returns with two mugs of coffee, he gasps too audibly as he finds Eiji looking over the miniature star projector that he’d left on the floor.

“Ah! Uh, that’s probably… I-I just happened to come across it one day…”

Eiji stares blankly at him. And Ash sits next to him with a hand running through his own hair, pushing the mop of it all back as he averts his flustering eyes to the ceiling.

“I know… that it’s not much compared to the real thing…” Ash says, his smile contradicting his embarrassment.

Then, Eiji gently takes Ash’s hand from his lap, and laces his fingers through his. Ash swallows a harsh breath. Eiji places the projector between them, and turns it on to scatter the entire room with sparkling multicoloured lights.

Suddenly, Ash feels transported to all the times they spent together in the planetarium. Somehow, that heavy and heady atmosphere that he’d always felt between them has followed them all the way here. Ash figures it out from this… that the feeling he always had from the planetarium which created a mood between lovers, and being swept along with the stars and the music of it all… and wanting to touch him so passionately… all of it resided in the midst of them just being together.

Eiji could always just naturally draw it out of him. Ash could never shake the feeling of wanting to create that connection to define something between them. No matter the time or place… Ash always felt it present. Even now, with his hands trapped under his, and his searching eyes looking back at him, wordlessly reaching out to Ash and hoping he’ll notice his feelings, Ash can feel it electrifying the air. That everlasting tension. The connection that begged to be acknowledged. There it is.

Ash brings himself forward, and captures Eiji’s lips into a long lasting kiss. He presses his mouth over his, then gently shapes around his bottom lip to hold him there just that little bit longer. Reluctant to ever let him go again.

And when Eiji pulls back, prettily pink in the face and sparkling eyes cast to the projector between them, he says with that same smile that claimed Ash’s heart, “I think this might suit us just fine.”


End file.
